The drawing at the center of this piece dates back to about 1990 or so, and reflects when I was in quite a state of confusion. I had just moved to California, found footing along a slippery path of pursuing my music career. But I also saw my art career waning in my incredulous thoughts about its demise filled my soul.
Sounds harsh, but my connection of music and art was not shared by the music industry. When I spoke of wanting to create art books, it was mildly accepted as a delusion. I felt deflated, so at that time, I focused my energy on music since I was able to make a living from it and tour.
An interesting side-note is that I was paid 2,500.00 to license a painting to my record company. So the delusion was mine. I was devaluing myself, but I had no clue to what was happening then. The chaos seemed to put a veil over all forms of reason. Or I was in denial?
Fast-forward to the present day. When I was working on this piece, I wasn’t thinking about this past. I was rifling through old drawings, came across this little sketch, and my scissors did their work to remove it from 1990 to bring it here to the present. The chaos is still there. If there were thoughts related to the past though, I cannot know. I am thinking them now, but I have no idea why.
When art works, it gives you pause for thought. Maybe it brings us to the present, to just months ago, or to a future we’ve never imagined. I loved working on this one.